Andy Roth, Producer, Casting Director, Voice Director

Andy 0:00

If you get me on the phone, just send me to a manager because that's what I'm going to ask for anyway.

Robb 0:12

Welcome to another episode of Chewing the Fat. I'm your host, Big Robb. Thank you so much for tuning in, downloading the podcast. I certainly do appreciate that. And to the folks that have bought me a coffee at ChewingTheFatBR.com, thank you so much for supporting this podcast and helping to keep telling the stories, those beautiful, messy human stories that we all have. Today I've got a great guest in front of me from uh Los Angeles right now. Please welcome Andy Roth. Andy, how are you, buddy?

Andy 0:40

I'm great. I'm doing great. How about you?

Robb 0:42

I'm doing good. Thank you so much for giving me some of your time to sit and talk today. It's uh it's really an honor. Uh Andy is a casting director uh that I met at VO Atlanta this year. I mean, we've kind of been in and out of some, you know, forums and classes and workshops and things like that, but officially had a chance to kind of sit at his knee and learn uh from Andy this year and just uh more so than your teaching style, just you who you are as a human, just really uh kind of lit me up inside. So uh thank you for for being here and agreeing to talk with me today.

Andy 1:19

Thank you. And thank you for the compliment.

Robb 1:21

That's I mean it. I'm not I'm not blow I'm not blowing smoke because you're a casting director. I mean, I mean it, you know. Um you're in Los Angeles right now. Is uh is LA home to you? Is that where you grew up?

Andy 1:34

New York will always be home. Ah, okay. Yeah, New York will always I you know I love LA. There's a lot here that I really, really like. Um pizza is not one of the things, if if I can if I can say that, you know, kind of a broad statement, but yeah. Um New York will always be home, but I do love LA. I have places on both coasts, and whenever I'm at one of them, I miss the other. So yeah, yeah.

Robb 2:02

So uh were you like in born and raised in like the Manhattan area, a different area of New York, or uh

Andy 2:10

I was uh born in Queens. Okay, but yeah, but I didn't live there long enough to call that, you know. I uh we moved to Long Island early. I lived in Huntington, later moved with the family to Syosset. Oh wow. Um yeah, moved out pretty much around 17. Lived with some friends on a boat in Oyster Bay. Oh wow. Yeah, it was uh it was a cool experience, but it was not, it wasn't like a houseboat. It's not what you see on movies about rich people. It was a it was definitely a service boat. It was like a green PC kind of thing. Yeah, and it was it was a lot of fun. Um, and it was a great boat, but it's not it's not where I would choose to live now if I were to choose a pull.

Robb 2:57

So that's not where you go back to when you go back to New York. You're not going to the boat.

Andy 3:01

I don't go back way to the end of the pier. At a time there were cell phones, and if you wanted to make a call, you had to walk all the way up and ask to use the payphone. And yeah, it was it's definitely a different time communication-wise. Um, yep, and then I went to school in Buffalo, lived there for six years, and yeah, back to New York in the past few years. I've been back and forth from LA to New York.

Robb 3:25

Oh, that's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, I have uh my my father was from Buffalo, and so I have some family up in that area, and uh we went one time to visit them, and it was you know, it was like I don't know, I I feel like we were up there in like almost June, and it was still cold, and there may have been snow on the ground. I'm not sure.

Andy 3:44

It was yeah, we had a blizzard, we had a blizzard on May 6th once. I will never forget it. Yeah, that was just crazy, crazy, yeah. Yeah, but it was it was fun, it was good times. And I did learn that if you're having a blizzard, renting a hot tub, you know, they come, they drop it off. Yeah, and it's it's fun. Makes it more bearable. Yeah, sitting outside in a blizzard in a hot tub is is an experience I would recommend. Um yeah.

Robb 4:15

That's awesome. That's awesome. When you're in uh Buffalo, what were you studying for school? Uh at theater. Theater, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Andy 4:22

I actually started college pre-med. Wow. Uh yeah, and uh it was cool. It's a great school for it. Um, it was cool, but I kind of learned early on nobody's gonna want me to be their doctor. So uh, you know,

Robb 4:36

so Dr. Roth has a good sound sound sound too.

Andy 4:40

Yeah, it sounds good. Uh yeah, no doubt about that. They, you know, but uh yeah, it wasn't um, you know, it's like anything else. I feel like you gotta love it. Yeah, you gotta love it. And uh there was a lot I loved about it, but I didn't love it.

Robb 5:00

Gotcha.

Andy 5:00

Um, and the whole time I had taken acting classes there, theater classes, uh, worked with a guy named Stephen McKinley Henderson, who is brilliant. He's in Dune now. He has uh he played uh Denzel Washington's uh best friend in fences. And um yeah, and he kind of took me under his wing. I was his teacher's assistant for a couple of years, one of his two. Um and uh yeah, I kind of uh I didn't necessarily fall in love with acting, but I fell in love with that way of thinking, the business, which is why I'm not an actor now, but but I love actors and I love working with actors, and you know, so uh yeah, it kind of found me.

Robb 5:44

Yeah. So what was the so if you you want to work with actors but not necessarily be an actor, so what was the plan after college then? What was what was that gonna be?

Andy 5:56

Yeah, I don't know. The plan was don't starve. Ah well, yeah, that's always a good plan. That's a good plan. Don't starve, go out, find a job. Uh I was a high school teacher for a short period of time, didn't love it. I have incredible admiration for the people who do it. Uh so they had so little appreciation and so little money, and they do they do so much. Uh yeah, it's it's crazy. Um and then I worked at a place called Samuel French. Play publishing. And I would recommend plays to companies and monologues to people and deal with licensing out shows. Um and uh I met a friend who connected me with a talent agency, which was called CED at the time. Now it's called C E S D, is how most people know it. Um, and uh I became an assistant there and eventually they're in-house casting person or booth director, and then broke off on my own around 2007. The industry, I you know, people I you know, I'll talk in colleges and things like that. And one of the questions that I get is what was my path? And uh I'm kind of like, well, I don't want to tell you because my path doesn't exist anymore. Yeah, the opportunities that I had are different. We recorded everything on cassette. There were only 13 TV channels, and people only cared about four of them. Yeah, um, everything was union and times have changed, but the philosophy hasn't. The philosophy of follow your heart as often as you possibly can and your wallet as often as you have to.

Robb 7:36

Yeah.

Andy 7:37

Um, yeah, because I'm not unrealistic.

Robb 7:39

Right.

Andy 7:39

Um, and eventually, at least in my case, those two kind of merged and brought me into areas of the business that nobody had ever taught me about, some of which didn't even exist back then the way they exist now.

Robb 7:53

Yeah.

Andy 7:53

So yeah, so it kind of found me. That's really cool. That's really cool. Yeah.

Robb 7:57

And I having started in radio myself when I was 15, interning at a radio station, when you could intern at a radio station and work an overnight shift and and you know, kind of, you know, get your feet wet and learn how to do production with razors and tape and things like that. And again, those those tactical skills don't exist anymore. Yeah, you know, it's that little press thing. Yeah. Grease pencils and marking and right. Yeah. You know, that that stuff just doesn't exist anymore. So that path, you know, there is is, and I fell in, fell in love with it because of the entertainment aspect of it, because of being able to be this persona or or or create these funny, you know, promos and this type of stuff. And they're just that path, like you said, it doesn't exist anymore for people that want to do that because there are no overnight shifts anymore. There's not there are barely jocks on the air. I mean, you know, in your top 10 markets, sure. You probably, although even there, you probably have a voice tracked shift from somewhere else in the country that is just piped in and localized or whatever. Um, so yeah, it's it's it's hard when you find a passion and then you see what has happened to the industry you fell in love with, but you can either get rolled over by it or you adapt and move on and figure out how to make it work. Um you know, and that's one thing uh now as uh AI has become so prevalent in the nomenclature of just anything, anything now is how do we work with AI or how do we keep AI from you know taking our jobs? Will it replace us? Um, you know, as a as a casting director, um do you do you see any of that coming at you? Like, hey, we want to cast an AI voice in this or something, are you? You know what I mean?

Andy 9:50

Yeah. Uh well, nobody's asked me to cast an AI voice. Um and I have had companies approach me about reaching out to people to become AI voices. Um I'm I'm not gonna pass judgment. I know you know people have to eat. And you know, it's uh I could say don't do it, but I'm not off, you know, I can't, if I can't offer somebody something to replace it, right? Then I really have no place telling somebody to to do that. And yeah, might you know there are things coming that might even replace me? There are voice match programs, there are um databases, things like that that producers can draw from. Um, I'm in a unique situation in that I get to direct a lot of what I cast. So, you know, that puts me in a little different space, but I don't know what's coming. But you know, I've been part of this industry now for 32 years. Um, I've been there through major hits. Um, it used to be only casting directors in offices, and then agencies started doing internal casting because people would ask for that. Um, most and most agencies had booths because a lot of their celebrities didn't want to go and wait in a waiting room and a casting house. So there were promos or things like that when not as many people at home studios would come into the agency and work from there. So it was kind of set up. And then a lot of casting directors freaked out and got really upset. Our agency's gonna take our work, but it didn't happen. Um, there was definitely a hiccup. There was definitely a, you know, running from the aliens kind of freak out in the streets. Um, and uh it didn't happen. And then in 2000, there was a strike. It was a huge strike, and that changed the industry. And are agencies gonna go out of business? Are people gonna totally, you know, give up everything? And it definitely made some changes to the industry, some changes that are still here. But the industry adapted to those changes. A lot of commercials went non-union and still are, but now there are agreements in place and things where people can still work in that sphere. Um, and now it's the AI scare. AI is the new running from the aliens, running from the meteors. And yeah, I don't know. I don't know where we're gonna go, but I know that humans are resilient, human minds think of other ways. Um, you know, and the the reason to do AI is so you can make things to sell. Right. And if nobody's making money, who's gonna buy it? Right. Um so yeah, and I I think there will be pushback, there will be some acceptance, uh, just like with the non-union upheaval in 2000, and things will eventually level out until the next New York alien invasion.

Robb 12:53

Yeah.

Andy 12:54

Um, yeah. And by the way, I think aliens generally are probably pretty nice, you know. I think I think it makes for good movies, but I kind of feel like, you know, if there was gonna be, if it was gonna be, you know, an independence day kind of thing, it would have happened. So I'm seeing that only as a parable. Aliens, if you're listening, I'm sure you're monitoring, I'm sure you, you know, you have your issues too, and you're listening to the podcast. I like you. You are on benefit of the the doubt.

Robb 13:26

Exactly. But I mean, you know, that's what we should do with everyone though, right? Yeah. Because you don't know what's going on. You don't know what someone's life experience has been, what the what bad day they're having to cause them to act the way that they're acting, or what you know, trauma they may have had in their past that's causing them to act the way that they act. So I mean uh walking, and I say this to a lot of her, walking forward in kindness is always uh always to me is always the best way to move anyway. Yeah, you know, uh as opposed to being you know judgmental about people that you don't know anything about, really. Right. You know?

Andy 14:01

Yeah. Unless you're somebody on the phone with a utility company that's telling me you're sorry you can't help me. You can. You can help me. You can. You're choosing not to.

Robb 14:14

I just don't want to.

Andy 14:15

Yes. If you get me on the phone, just send me to a manager because that's what I'm gonna ask for anyway.

Robb 14:20

Just go ahead and hang up now and I'll call back and I'm gonna ask directly for the manager.

Andy 14:24

And I don't believe you're gonna call me back.

Robb 14:26

That's right. That's right. When you put me on hold, I will be here until the phone hangs up. Until it times out at 20 minutes or whatever. Yeah, yeah. No. Um so from your your theater background, what you're doing now, um what uh what have you seen in in your life uh doing what you do that is really like uh kept you motivated, keep going, other than the paycheck, other than making sure that you don't starve. You know what I mean? Other than the paycheck, other than that, yeah. I mean, because you don't seem like the only in it for the paycheck type of person to me. But uh you know what I mean. But are there those what are the some of those glimmers that you see that you've been a part of that have just kept you keep moving forward?

Andy 15:14

I I kind of feel I mean, and when I say kind, I mean do. Uh I feel like no nobody gets in this business to not interact with people. Um you know, I think there are businesses where you can be solitary if you want to be solitary. And even though this business has changed into a bit more of a solitary business since the pandemic, um I feel like we've still found ways to interact. Even, you know, sending an audition, listening to people's auditions, it still feels interactive, emailing back to them. Emails back and forth. When I started this business, everybody talked on the phone. So even if you didn't see anybody, you still had and you became friends. Now it's more of an email relationship, but it still happens. Um I uh two nights last week went out for drinks with colleagues. I was just in a thing yesterday with other voice directors. Um, what keeps me going is the sense of community. Even even when I'm alone, yeah, even when I'm alone prepping it, casting something, even when I'm just thinking about it or emailing with a producer about what's gonna happen, or when we're in the booth and it's me in an engineer in one room and an actor in another room. Um the thing that keeps me going, I guess, really is the sense of community.

Robb 16:42

Yeah.

Andy 16:42

Uh and sometimes it's like solving a puzzle. And I'll yeah, and I'll I'll be honest, sometimes when you put the puzzle together, you're like, okay, that's not a picture I want to look at.

Robb 16:51

I'm getting but uh the instructions upside down.

Andy 16:56

Yeah, I think, yeah. I don't know who who decided this should be a puzzle, but um, but you know, putting together a puzzle is putting together a puzzle, the process is the process, and you gotta at least most of the time enjoy the thinking about okay, here's a piece of sky. This is definitely a corner piece. Let's start with the corner. Yeah, um, because it can be overwhelming if you're looking at this monster thousand-piece pile of stuff, yeah. Unless you're like, you know what? There's only four corner pieces, let me just find those first. Yeah um and finding the corner pieces sometimes really keeps me going. There's a lot. Honestly, I don't even know that I even totally have a 100% answer, but I know that if there wasn't something there, I would have left. And it's not just the paycheck because I could I could get that other places.

Robb 17:48

Right, right, right.

Andy 17:50

I believe I could.

Robb 17:51

Yeah. And and I and I love that that you say it's the it's the community, it's the collaboration. I love collaborating. I mean, this this whole this podcast is is collaborating in the interviews, but it is just me putting it together afterwards. I mean, I'm doing all the marketing, I'm doing all the tech, I'm doing everything after this is over, you know what I mean? But the collaboration part of of having the conversation, of being with people, and then and then when you're working with other projects, when you're doing voiceover projects, when you're submitting your auditions, when you're, you know what I mean? It's like, all right, who am I gonna who are they gonna pair me up with in this two-part, you know, this two-voice commercial, or who are they gonna pick, you know what I mean? It's and sometimes you don't know until it's done, and then you're like, oh wow, that was really cool, you know, uh, or this audio drama or whatever it is.

Andy 18:37

Um I feel like it it is collaborative also, because even though it's you putting it together, it's not just one podcast. It's not like let's do this interview and that's it, it's never gonna happen again. Uh the the existence is kind of an ongoing collaboration because the if the listeners want something else or like they'll tell you.

Robb 18:57

Yeah, yeah.

Andy 18:58

Yeah. So it is, you know, I find there's collaboration there too.

Robb 19:02

Yeah. And the and it and as I uh thank people that support the podcast, even just for downloading and listening, that is collaboration too. You're part of it just by listening to the podcast. Yeah, uh, you know. Yes, absolutely. I and I love that. I love that. Um, has there been uh a a you you you love the collaboration part? Has there been a project that you've worked on that has been like I don't want to frame this in a in a negative way, but more difficult to collaborate or more difficult to work on that you can mention your or in vague term terminology. You don't have to call out names or anything like that. But that you're like, uh, that may not happen again if that comes across my desk.

Andy 19:45

Absolutely. Well, um, yeah, there have definitely been more frustrating projects. Um, but you know, I've signed a lot of contracts in my time, and the words fun, like, easy, you know, enjoy, have never been in any of them. Uh liking the, you know, nobody likes their job always. It's it's a relationship, it's like any other relationship. You can love your partner unequivocally, but you might not like them every day. Yeah, and they might not like you, and that's fine. That just means we're individuals with individual thoughts. Um a job, it's sort of its own individual entity, and most of the time, almost always, I do like my job. Sometimes I love my job. Um, but you know, sometimes, you know, sometimes it didn't put the toilet seat down, and we're gonna have to have a discussion. Uh you know, sometimes it didn't clean up after itself. Um it's just like anything else. Um but uh yeah, I mean there are things that are difficult. Also, I'm dealing with uh, you know, when I direct a dubbing project, I'm dealing with a whole other culture. And cultures are very similar to us. Sometimes the jokes really carry over, sometimes they don't. Sometimes something is very stylized. Um and it's like colloquialisms, like expressions. Like here, if I say you're comparing apples to oranges, you'll know what that means. In some other countries, if I say it, they're like, Why are you suddenly talking about fruit? This has nothing to do with fruit. Um, you know, they have their equivalents, they have their expressions. And I I have had the projects where things are very stylized, where people are speaking in expressions that there are no equivalents for here. Oh, wow. And it's like, well, how do we handle that? Uh, because they're I can't always find an equivalent expression, and sometimes making it more literal or even going for the Meaning is going to kill the joke and it makes it kind of a it seems like an unnecessary scene, even though there it's necessary. Um, there are projects with a lot of that, that can be a little difficult. Interesting. So yeah, yeah. But if it was easy, everybody would do it. Right. Right. People don't hire me to not have problems. People hire me to make sure they don't become their problems. Yeah.

Robb 22:26

I love that. I love that. And I and you know, I think that's a great, you know, mantra as an actor or or or really any any person working any job is if you're hired to make sure that the people above you, the people that have hired you, don't have a problem because of you. You you take away problems for them by by what you do, whether it's your performance, whether it's and by performance I mean whether you're acting or you're collating newsletters or whatever it is, you know. It's like that they don't have to worry about that because you're you're good at your job.

Andy 23:00

Yep. It's the same reason you hire a plumber or a doctor or a house painter or an electric.

Robb 23:05

Right.

Andy 23:06

Yeah. I just painted an apartment in Manhattan, and I will never do it again. It doesn't matter if I can. There's somebody that will make my life easier for more than a few bucks.

Robb 23:20

But but you don't have to do it and the pro and it will be done right. And it's not your problem anymore. Exactly. I love that. I love that. Are there clients that are on like your bucket list that you'd like to be a part of that you could mention? Um, you know, where there's something that you've seen, you're like, oh, I wouldn't mind being in the Marvel universe or the this, that, or the other, or the, you know, the Harry Potter verse, or what, you know, those kind of big things. Or if it's just something that's meaningful to you, like I love documentaries from Nat Geo or whatever. Yeah.

Andy 23:58

Well, uh, you know, I mean, there are things I think I'd like to work on. I I haven't done a sci-fi. I'd like to do that. Um, I haven't done a horror movie. I'd love to do that. I'd love to work on one of that. As far as documentaries, I've made one and I've voice directed a bunch of them. Um, I'm good. I'm good on the making of documentary. The people, the people that make docs, I have whatever it's about, I love you and respect you and do not have your strength. You are powerful, determined people, and I admire you with all my heart. And uh, I will go see your shows, but I will not be one of you again because it was a lot of work. Um, so but I I'll say this. I mean, I don't know if this is the answer you're looking for, but um a while back in 2021, uh I was diagnosed with cancer. Now I'm I'm cancer-free now, I've been cancer free for several years. Um, you know, thank the universe and my doctors for that. They were brilliant. Um, but you know, of course, uh, you know, uh, I don't want to trigger anybody here, but you know, the first thing that I thought of when the doctor told me was like, all right, what's in the bucket list? Yeah. Um, you know, because I don't know, we you know, it's like they told me it was there, but I hadn't had the CAT scans yet. I hadn't had the blood tests, I hadn't had the surgery, I hadn't had all of that. So, you know, and I was keeping it to myself. I didn't tell my family for for a while because you know, you tell somebody you have it, everybody's like, oh my god, you're dying. And I understand that was that's would be my reaction too, probably. And uh, I'm thinking, well, it could be nothing, and I don't want them thinking I'm dying and going crazy when it's nothing.

Robb 26:05

Yeah.

Andy 26:05

And if I am, if it is serious, which thank God, you know, I mean it's always serious, but you know, thank the universe it wasn't um as bad as it could be. Um, but if it was that, you know, they can they can afford to not worry and cry about it for two weeks. So I kept to myself, but I did a lot of thinking what's in the bucket list. Um, and I actually, I mean, there are some things that I'd like to do, but I I think I was really fortunate. I was like, I think everything that I've really, really felt uh driven to do that I have to do, I've kind of done. I'm like, I don't think there was anything that was gonna make me walk the earth looking for a resolution.

Robb 26:53

Yeah.

Andy 26:54

You know, uh, except maybe the second half of Spider-Verse. That I hope that happens before uh, you know. Um, but uh yeah, I really, you know, I have to say I've got I've got a to-do list for me, but it's not a bucket list. Yeah, yeah, it's really not. I think I'm very, very fortunate in that I didn't, you know, say I have to take this job for safety. Yeah, you know, when I really want to do this other thing. And people have reasons for doing that. I was fortunate I didn't have kids. Uh, you know, I wasn't I wasn't in a situation where I had to take care of somebody other than myself for the most part. So uh yeah, so I I do count myself lucky on that. Not everybody has that. That's great. That's great.

Robb 27:50

So for you uh right now, you know, with project you've got on, but besides work and stuff like that, what's bringing you joy when you think of joy? What is bringing you joy in life?

Andy 28:01

Um decorating my apartment. Decorating this new apartment. Uh I mean, I know it's a simple little thing and it's obviously gonna come to an end because I only have so much wall space. But uh, but I can always take things down and put other things back up. Uh when I first this this apartment, when I got it, I was like, okay, it's mine. I'm gonna, I can do it's a blank canvas, I can do whatever I want with it. Um, and I'm like, I don't know that I really know how to decorate anymore. You know, I've always shared space and had other people in my life to to do that. And I'm like, all right, I'm gonna start putting up some affordable stuff and see if my opinions are right and my thoughts are right. And uh, you know, I had a little bit of success in the bedroom and then a little bit of success in the kitchen, and then, you know, I'm like, I think I know where that's gonna go when I look on Temu and Amazon and uh stuff like that, and so that's been bringing me a lot of joy. Um being a part of a community that that I'd always respected that seemed far away. You know, it's like you know that there are people out there that do what you do that you really respect, and there's always this kind of like, will I would they accept me with what I did? Because your accomplishments never really feel as big as somebody else's accomplishments.

Robb 29:34

Yeah.

Andy 29:35

Because you're looking at what's done over there, you're not looking at how they did it. With you, you had the problems. Yes, maybe you got there and you're proud of your accomplishments, and you should be, um, because you accomplished it, and most people don't. Um, but uh it feels like because you saw how the sausage was made. Yeah, you know, you're like, this really isn't as big a deal as what they did. They did this other great thing. Um, and being a part of a community that accepts me and asks my opinion on occasion, and that I can just joke with and have a drink or have a meal or grab a coffee, that brings me joy. And I will say this after years and years of uh people in my family not believing I could do it, um having them go, wow, that's that's really big. You have a show on Netfloor, you have 35 shows, you know, on you know Netflix and Amazon and Apple and Country Roll and you know HBO. Um that brings me joy. Not showing them up necessarily, but it it's uh it make it it sort of brings up legitimacy. I always felt legitimate. Yeah, but knowing that other people feel it's legit too, that brings me joy.

Robb 31:07

Yeah.

Andy 31:07

And New York pizza.

Robb 31:09

Ah, yeah. What's the what's the go-to topics on the New York pizza?

Andy 31:14

Oh, well, I'm you know, I mean, I'm I'm a veg, so you know, I'm not casting no judgment. You know, I, you know, old school love for pepperoni pizza. I appreciate it when people have a good one. Um, but I'm a mushroom guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely a mushroom guy. Uh broccoli on a white pizza. Ooh. A lot of garlic, a lot of broccoli.

Robb 31:38

Yeah.

Andy 31:39

Yeah, that's it. But you know, the beauty of New York is you don't have to choose.

Robb 31:43

Yeah.

Andy 31:44

You know, whatever you want. They probably have it already made to throw in there. You know, you can you probably get it with a shoe on it and nobody will bat and I that's New York. And it would probably, you know, it would probably be good. I'm not gonna do it, but I'm not gonna put that to the test. But um, yeah, it's just, I don't know, it it's really weird and it doesn't seem much, but New York pizza that you could just get a slice or a slice of mushroom, a slice of broccoli, and a plain slice. It feels like and being able in New York to walk there, it it feels like freedom to me. It's really, it's really weird. It feels like freedom, it tastes like freedom, and yeah, they gave me an attitude at the counter, and you know, and yeah, you gotta know what you want when they ask you, otherwise get out of the line. Um, or a New York bagel, or just being able to walk there and do stuff. And there are a lot of places in LA that will afford that too. But LA burrito is a magical thing, um, you know, and uh it's just I don't know, it feels like freedom to me. It feels like I'm living my life, you know, being able to cook something, look at a recipe and say I can make that and have it actually turn out that way or close to it. Um, you know, because I don't really know because I'm just looking at a picture, but but turn out being something I'm happy with. Um, yeah, it feels like freedom to me. It feels like I've arrived, I've accomplished something. Um so yeah, that's uh as far as toppings go, I don't know. I don't uh I don't discriminate. I just see pizza.

Robb 33:35

All right, Andy, this is the second segment of the show. This is where we dive a little bit deeper into your mental health journey. Um, I definitely believe the more we talk about these things, the more we realize we are not alone in these thoughts and these in these downtimes and these days that we have. Uh, so hearing other people that have gone through these things helps us all. So, for you, how do you keep the darkness at bay?

Andy 33:58

Um you know what I don't? Uh we all I talk when I'm talking about coaching actors and things like that, I talk about the is. Um as an actor, you're you have what you have. Your is is your is. You can't a lot of people get hung up because they're trying to make their reality feel like it's 18th century France. Or no, it's not. It's gonna feel like you're who you are in you know, in a place you wouldn't be for any other reason, um, which is not always about you, in front of equipment you wouldn't be in front of for any other reason, and people that have varying degrees of concern about how you feel, um, doing it for people that wouldn't be watching you do it or listening to you do it for any other reason. Um, and that's your it's feeling it's not your job to feel differently than you feel. It's your job to feel how you feel and do your job anyway. Um the paycheck gets big, doesn't get bigger if you enjoy it or don't enjoy it. Um, so I accept my darkness as part of my reality. I know how to be depressed and do my job. Uh I know how I don't like it as much. Nobody likes to be depressed. Um, but I know that it will pass, you know. And uh when I do you want if I tell this little story or did you have other questions?

Robb 35:33

Oh, please go right ahead.

Andy 35:34

Uh when I when I started in this business, and I Samuel French was a great experience, but it wasn't other than meeting um the people, uh Beth Wiki and Army Schultz, who helped me get the job at the agency. Both amazing people who I love dearly. Um well I I considered that when things really started for me, because that was the intense workspace. That was get it done fast, get it done right. Um, not as much margin for error because people's careers hung on what you did and people's relationships. And I didn't know anybody, and I stepped into it. And I was an assistant for a woman who was running the voiceover department who became a really, really good friend and mentor to me over time. But for that first year, I was terrified. I stepped into a situation where I was replacing her assistants that she had had for a while, and you know, she expected it to be seamless. And I had very little training. Um, and as an assistant, a lot of things get blamed on you. Part of your job is to take the blame. You don't have to accept it of yourself, but you do have to know it's going to be blamed on you, and you do have to know how to deal with it. And I took a lot of things to heart. Um, and for the first year, I was I was having severe anxiety attacks every day. I used to go to work an hour early because I thought if nobody else, if anybody else was in that office, I wasn't sure I was going to make it down the hallway to my desk. I didn't go to the bathroom because I was afraid, I was too terrified to get up and walk. I didn't think I'd be able to move. Um, and sometimes I was right. I mean, I was terrified. Um, and this went on for like a year. I would leave an hour late. I would leave like when people, when I couldn't see anybody. Um, and every day I went in there, I was like, today's the day. Today is the day that I can't do it anymore. And I would even say something sometimes to the other assistant who sat next to me who knew kind of what I was going through. Um, and he'd be like, Yeah, well, I've been waiting. But I never quit. And it's not a story of fighting it, it's not a story of I'm gonna rally and I'm gonna get it. It's a story of dealing with it. Uh I wasn't even thinking second to second or minute to minute. I was thinking oh to now, to now, to now, to now. Wow. I'm still alive, I'm still alive, I'm still alive, I'm still here, I'm still alive. I'm answering this phone call. Okay, I know how to write this down. I'm writing this letter and this letter and this letter and this letter, and it's not wrong. And I took the note, I passed the note off, I went back to my desk. Um, it was a question of now to now to now to now to now. I'm still alive, I'm still alive, I'm still alive. Um not feeling better, but existing in the anxiety and still doing my job. Because quitting, that's a lot of work. I didn't, I didn't not quit because I was strong and fighting it. I didn't quit because I was afraid. I didn't have the courage. Because you get up there, first of all, you gotta get up and go there. You got to make the decision, which is big. Then you got to go and talk to somebody about it, and then you got to deal with all of the repercussions, yeah. You know, because you don't just walk out at that moment, you know, there's a process. Um, and then I gotta figure out what the hell I'm gonna do with my life after that. This is all I've been trained to do. I don't know how to do anything else. Um, and so I was I was like, if they if they fire me, at least that's easier. Right, right. You know, but they never did. And every day I was there, there were a couple days I called out, but for the most part, every day I was there doing my job while having this crippling anxiety. I moved my computer to a place where I could kind of hide behind it. I moved my phone to a place really close so I didn't have to reach far for it. Um, I made sure that we were still taking notes on pads and pencils. I made sure everything was right there so I didn't have to like reach out. Um, and I suited my life to my anxiety existence. Um and it worked, and I got stuff done and I learned in the whole process. It didn't feel like I was learning, but things just got easier and easier and easier because growth doesn't always feel like anything. Yeah, um, and uh I existed with it, it was my is, and I learned, you know, your darkness is a part of you, and you don't you have to accept that you can exist in it and still be successful and still be functional. And eventually after a year, I I kind of it it hit this head, and I've been there for a year, and I was like, I was just like, I don't care. And I got really upset and I said, I'm going for a walk around the block, and I stormed out of the office and I walked around and I was ready to come back up and have somebody sitting at my desk waiting for me to clean it out. And I came back back and I sat down and nobody said anything. And and the phone rang and I picked it up and I took a call at the end of the day. I went home and I came back the next day and sat down and got to work. Um, and it kind of dissipated, it kind of reached ahead. Um, and then I just, you know, and still things were blamed on me. Some actually were my fault, and I accepted that, but a lot of them were not. And I'm like, okay, you can blame me, but everybody including me knows it's not my fault, and I can accept that. So as far as the darkness, um, and that acceptance of it made it easier because I knew uh that doing something through the darkness was a success. There was, you know, you know, you can notice the tunnel, you can notice the light. You're still in the tunnel.

Robb 41:56

Yeah, yeah.

Andy 41:58

You know, but um yeah, so uh that's it. I mean, and that's just uh me. I had to go to work every day, I had to do it, I had to get out of bed. Um, I had the luxury of having to be somewhere, not you know, but um but I had to accept it at a certain point, and I still do get depressed. Yeah, you know, I still do worry. I'm just like just like every actor out there who's, you know, you don't, you know, you don't get a call for a little bit of time. It's like, is everybody working but me? I still have that. You know, um but it's just it's just a part of the existence, and I don't I I I choose not to live a life where I'm gonna pretend that it's not gonna hit. I just know that I still can move forward, even when it feels like things are just insurmountable. They're not. I'm still here. Yeah.

Robb 42:56

And I I think that's important because you know, keeping the darkness at bay doesn't necessarily mean vanquishing it. Being like you said, being able to exist, coexist beside it to recognize it for what it is, but not be enveloped by it. Yeah. You know, and you know, it was hanging on you tight that first year. It hadn't covered you over completely, but it was hanging on tight. And then you finally were like, okay, all right, look, you stay on your side of the bed. I'm staying on my side of the bed, and we're gonna make this work.